I think it took a long time before both my sister and I, or at least myself, to realise that for our sister sibling relationship to be at its optimum, we had to become best friends. We are 6 years apart and for a very long time before I grew into my own personality and beliefs, she was always an "older sister" to whom respect was due.
I think as she saw me grow to have my own opinions and become more of an adult, we both learned that respect was mutual and was earned, even amongst us as blood sisters! To keep the relationship blooming , we had to become the best of FRIENDS! And this is why I always say the word or tittle friendship is not one to be used so freely because its implications and responsibilities are far beyond the way we so carelessly call everyone FRIEND.
DR Van Hoose defines friendships as relationships defined and characterised by unconditional love. Is this how you feel about ALL your friends? Well I mean, provided that we don't feel like this about most of our relationships by virtue of being Human! But that's the point here, the point is to emphasise the value of friendship. These are relationships that are the basis of almost all relationships, and like any other relationships, they need our intentional efforts and interest to be maintained.
Im currently reading John C. Maxwell's 'Make today count" and he gives valuable points on how to be intentional on our friendships and how to help them grow. I think for me in any relationship what has proved to be a remnant quote to apply has to be Stephen R. Covey's " Seek first to understand than to be understood."
People are insecure...give them confidence.
People (more like women lol) want to feel special...compliment them.
People desire a better tomorrow...show them hope.
People need to be understood...listen to them.
People are selfish... speak to their needs first.
People get emotionally low... encourage them.
People want to be associated with success, help them win.
This is but a passage that just helps us better relate to people and learning to understand them. Here a few more practical tips on how be better:
- Place a high value on people
- Learn to understand people
- Give respect freely but expect to earn it from others
- Commit yourself to adding value to others
*Put others first - GOLDEN RULE: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU!
*Dont carry emotional baggage - FORGIVE QUICLY AND MOVE ON!
*Give time to your most valuable relationships- Remember BLOOD WILL ALWAYS BE THICKER THAN WATER.
*Serve others gladly
* Express love and appreciation often - THE BEST WAY TO HELP PEOPLE IS TO SEE THE BEST IN THEM. John C. Maxwell talks about the 101 principle- look for 1 thing that you admire in someone, and give them 100% encouragement for it!
So there you have it, relationship revelations on friendship. Here's to greater, longer friendships!